Woke up after having a terrible dream that a successful actor I know tried to buy my car (at my end of lease buy out option) and succeeded. Suddenly I wished I had bought the car and felt a terrible sense of regret. In my mind, this is a clear sign that the universe is telling me that I should purchase my Honda instead of turning it back in to the lease agents. My boyfriend's mother may be more skeptical. She is a born again Christian and was telling me the other day, that you have to be discerning when receiving 'messages' because they could be from God or from the Devil. She also thinks that the only way you could possibly know this is by inviting Jesus into your life. I explained that I felt I had a pretty good sense of whether something was good or evil myself. She re-iterated that I couldn't really know unless I had Jesus there. For example if I saw a ghost (which I have) I think I would be able to tell if it was just a hanging around ghost (good) or a ghost with bad intent (evil). But according to born agains, I have not. I have seen both presences and knew in an instant. Apparently the Devil is very good at 'tricking' though, so following this line of logic, it is quite possible that the Devil created my dream to make buying the car seem like a good idea and that in fact, it would be a terrible idea to buy my car because it could break down any second. The Devil, however, would delight in this outcome because he would have succeeded in f$%king me over. Reasonable? I guess the Devil may have some interest in pursuing this line of activity, just for fun. I am going to stick with my original interpretation though.
Yesterday, I went for a run, got a stitch halfway through and hobbled home. I don't know why I am struggling on my runs right now. I will have create a bootcamp for myself next week, or the week after... or... well, there's a lot going on right now! I had a coffee with a lovely producer friend of mine from Australia and we were interrupted by my friend Tim, who I was meant to help do an audition in the afternoon, but constantly kept changing his mind about whether we should do it a studio or at Steve's house. Seeing actor's in this anxious state is really quite funny. I think my girlfriend found it funny too. I warned him that Steve may have said that he had the lights and camera equipment, but that his kitchen was always very messy and had ants in it and I wouldn't necessarily arrive at the conclusion that the audition would be as professional as at a studio. I asked is Steve had a blue sheet to hang behind, as it looked good on camera. Apparently he could pull the one from his bed. Hmmm, in light of this information, I did suggest the studio option, even though it was much more expensive, but in the end we were at Steve's. Tim was worried when we arrived because Tim hadn't even set up the lights, he did, however have a screwed up blue sheet lying on the floor....hmmmm. Helpful? In the face of this we did eventually get it all done. Steve insisted on filming Tim with a hand held in the first scene and at the end of take 101 (phew!), we sat and watched and discovered, to our horror, that Steve's camera work wasn't quite as still as he would have us believe. We didn't really want to tell Tim because we really didn't want to do it again. Luckily Tim deemed the camera work OK, but of course sat in despair and suffering about his own acting, feeling that it wasn't 'good enough' that there was 'something missing' in his performance.
"Don't cry," I said jokingly.
Suddenly he looked like he really was going to cry. Oh my goodness- actor's are hilarious. Steve and I then went on a tirade of giving compliments until Tim finally felt it was OK and sent it to his agents. MY GOD! I know that I have inflicted this very same pain on many of my acting friends but it is funny to be on the other end. We finished by going out to dinner in Venice and Tim bought us all dinner which was nice. My producer girlfriend from earlier in the day came along too. Tim got the number of a girl at the restaurant and I think that helped him feel good and recover from the anxiety of his audition.
On Friday, I had helped my other friend, Peter, put his audition down on tape and at the end he had decided not to send it because he thought the light was hitting the bag under his left eye too harshly. This is what I'm talking about. I told him that he was nuts, that he looked great, that I certainly hadn't noticed any such bag and that his performance was really good. On Saturday he texted me that he had re-watched it and realised it was actually a pretty well done audition. Yes, these are the men I hang around with and they are not gay. Thank God for Langford! I love these friends but actors are a lot to handle. I am exactly the same though and know I have driven my actor friends nuts saying, 'just one more take', 'do I look OK, do I look GOOD?
Friday night I went out to dinner with Peter and a friend of his who is PA to a major star. She was a really cool girl and thought that every question I asked her was funny. She kept calling me 'interesting'. It was a little weird. Anyway we saw the movie TOY STORY 3 which was great. I cried, I laughed, I felt wholesome. The woman next to Peter asked him if he had brought any kids. "I'm the kid," he responded. I guess we all are.
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