Elusive Peace.

I woke up today struggling to remember my dream. It vanished before my eyes, like quicksand falling back down to the center of the earth. Oh my god! It is 10 o'clock! How did this happen?
"Wait!" I called out to the day.
"It's going without us!" I told my boyfriend. "Quick, try and stop it!"
In stark contrast to my experience just two days earlier when I had pinned down the day from the outset, today was an elusive cloud I could not grasp, but merely see rushing by me. I walked with my loved one along the shoreline, stopping to take in the beautiful blue ocean and clear skies. I picked flowers or contrasting vibrant colors, as if holding them in my hand and taking in the joy of the moment could somehow delay the fleeting nature of it all. I noticed the beauty of the trees and felt as if I was in the world of Pandora. It is so beautiful here- why would we ever need to create another fictional place? I have scripts to read today, an audition to prepare and the sun is shining. Can you blame me for feeling happy?

I wonder if proper people are meant to be happy. According to the author of 'Bright-Sided', Barbara Ehrenreich, 'not really'. Or maybe it's just being positive that she abhors. Are happiness and positivity the same thing? Perhaps not. In her book she dispels the popular myth that positivity helps one achieve all the things they dream of and even goes so far as to label it dangerous and destructive. She warns that positivity allows people to ignore the ominous threats around them and to live in a state of denial. Some cheery morning reading? You betcha! I thought I better have a look at this book too, since I am currently so occupied with my miracle books and classes. You must see both sides of the story- yin and yang and all that.

I agree with some of her thoughts- they are even backed up with good research. The problem is her perception of the word 'positivity'. For me, positivity is not about existing in a state of denial. Part of it is even to do with really getting to the bottom, most painful parts of our unhappiness, disease, break-ups, loss or whatever issue it is we are dealing with. It is not about putting band-aid blank 'happy' inane statements over gashing wounds as Barbara Ehrenreich seems to perceive it. Then again, I haven't finished the book yet so I may not have seen her full perspective.

Why do I even have this book? You may be wondering. Well, because on my side of the bed is a bucket load of books, some titles include "The Alchemist, Stella Adler's "The art of Acting", "How to think like Leonardo Da Vinci", "The Course in Miracles" and "The Way of the Peaceful Warrior" whereas on the other side of the bed are "The God Delusion", "Bright-sided" and "God is not Great". I suppose if yin and yang are anything to go by, I am in the perfect relationship.

I like the notion I read about in Elizabeth Gilbert's 'Eat, Pray, Love'. Her medicine man explains to her that there are seven states to rise up through to get to heaven-each more full of enlightenment and joy than the last. He then says that to get to Hell, there are seven states down, each state more full of sadness than the last. The interesting thing is that he describes Heaven and Hell as "same, same". The only difference is the journey taken to get there. So, in the end, you may as well be heading 'up'. I like that. Maybe it is just another version of the "opiate of the people", to quote Karl Marx's opinion on religion, but the feeling of peace and happiness is something that I think we'd all be happy for.