Proper People in a Proper World

So my day started with my phone ringing at 7.30am. It was a successful actor/producer 'friend' of mine (I have met him once) Fred*. I let it ring out. I knew he had a little crush on me and couldn't think why he would need to speak to me so early in the morning. Next, Zara* started calling and I answered her. She told me she was with Fred*. Great. Before I could explain why I couldn't answer the call, Zara jumped straight in, asking me if I could come and 'help' Fred. I had no idea what kind of 'help' she was talking about, but signed myself up immediately, (as I usually do) thinking that he wanted me to help him film an audition. As I began to ask questions, it was revealed that Fred was searching for a different kind of help, the help that can be found in a proper person. Apparently he was having a nervous breakdown/hangover/drug recovery/depression and couldn't cope with the world. He had a string of important studio meetings and wanted Zara and me to be his assistants for the day. I took all of this in as I brushed my teeth and ran out the door. In the background I heard him shout out- "Tell 'er, tell her I'll pay her three hundred dollars!" I was totally confused about why I was driving over there but Zara needed me to be there too. She was concerned that he was going to do something terrible to himself.

When I arrived, Fred was passed out on the couch and we couldn't wake him, even when we shook him, so we sat out on the balcony and waited. Zara told me that he had been saying ridiculous things all morning, like "you're smart but you can't understand what it's like being me- I'm a genius." And "I think I'm gonna kill myself, OK, I'm not really, I just needed to say it, now I feel better" and "everything is ruined, everything!" and "you girls are 'quality', I've got quantity but no quality". It was all pretty funny, but we also had to treat it seriously, just in case he really was about to go over the edge. Luckily he calmed down and when he finally arose from his sleep he thought we were angels, literally. We both had to run off to auditions and on our way back he called us on the phone to say "please hurry up and come home!" Once we returned, we made him re-schedule his appointments and everything seemed to work out. We picked him up McDonalds, made sure he was OK and at the end of the day we refused to accept any money. It felt like he was trying to pay us for being his friends and that didn't feel right. What a weird day.

I am now about to go out to dinner with my parrot loving, surfer Australian friend who is in town for a few days. I feel like I was a proper person today but I definitely wasn't in a proper world.