A Proper Person.

Preparing for life is a difficult task. It is already happening and I am still preparing! Help! When will I become a proper person? I ponder this fact knowing the answer doesn't exist but feel it is proper to ponder. That seems like a grown-up thing to do. At least I am seriously considering the question-right? The more seriously I consider it, the more worried I become. Have I been wasting my time? Should I have studied Economics instead of Philosophy and Ancient History and Experimental Theater? Was dressing up in a pink leotard at university and crawling the stage as an alien helpful to my personal development? Perhaps sashaying down the street dressed as a blue sperm with a dance group of 12 year olds (who wouldn't partner up with me) to "Sail Away" on a Sunday morning wasn't the coolest or brightest thing a 19 year old could do. Perhaps I should have been nursing my hangover or preparing for an exam in Macroeconomics instead of trying to improve my non-existent dance skills with a dedicated and bitchy group of junior high girls. Sometimes I feel proud that I have been chasing my dream and other times I wish I could dress up in a suit to prove that I am a person with a 'serious' career. Or at least look like a person with a serious career. Of course on occasion I do put on a suit for a role and it does make me feel like a worker. A worker bee bustling and buzzing in the community. A proper person.