Just back from sushi with Langford* and my actor friend Steve*. We ate sashimi and soft shell crab as we discussed the meaning of life. Langford's current view is that there is no point to life, but that a life can have meaning. I find that view point slightly depressing. I want life to have a point. I said that I believed there was something more, something greater than me and that there was a higher purpose. I like the idea that we are all connected and that we should strive to better the entire world and all people. Langford scoffed at me for saying this, pointing out my lack of charity work in the soup kitchen. (It did make me wonder if I should be volunteering more). I said I was talking more from an emotional standpoint. The simple belief that all energy is connected and therefore connects us to all other living beings. This is the great energy force that some people call God. We are all part of it and it is everlasting. Therefore if we make any improvement in ourselves, we are in fact improving the entire human species and all life. Steve told us about two documentaries to watch, 'Jesus Camp' and 'The Flight from Death'. These films could help shed some light on our quest to discover the true nature of life. Steve has been searching and reading a lot of books on the subject. We didn't know his personal philosophies until tonight so it was refreshing and invigorating to hear them. To top off a charged and interesting discussion, Steve just found out that his TV show got picked up. He was feeling pretty happy knowing that he would be earning money, so he bought us dinner.
I have two very exciting meetings/auditions on Monday that I got sent just after I was tearing my hair out at the lack of job opportunities. WHAT A RELIEF. Maybe these could be the jobs I get!
I have more to say but it is so late and I feel tired. I want to tell you about drinking too much last night with my actor friend Tom*. And the cab journey home with a magical religious man. And leaving my car out in West Hollywood. And clanging around in the kitchen looking for toast at 1am to try to soak up the alcohol. And smoking cigarettes that I really shouldn't have done. And forcing Langford to drive me there this morning before his important meeting. And being dropped on Santa Monica Blvd to walk because Langford was running late. And reading lines for my actor friend Tim*. And seeing the father of another actor friend at the coffee shop and hugging him. And getting a facial. And reading a very imaginative weird film script. And cooking lunch. And preparing an audition scene. But, I just don't think it would be appropriate. And I'm really not sure it makes me look like a proper person.
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