You say Melinda and I say Melina....

I beat myself by 15 seconds today on my run. Pretty exciting stuff. The main reason I was able to do this, was because of a girl of very similar physique to me who was running just behind me. I was determined to stay ahead and every time I heard her footsteps catching up, I plunged ahead with longer steps, even though it was sort of killing me. In the end I won! I won! But no-one cared. At least I can document it here. I just finished watching the documentary 'Flight from Death'. One concept it looks at, is our determination to be better or more successful than others. The idea is that if you can achieve this, you feel superhuman whilst everyone else around you exists as mere mortals. I suppose that running my fastest time ever did give me that superhuman glow. The documentary also talked about how we are more likely to react with violence and hatred when confronted with people of differing religion or race, if we have been reminded of our own mortality. We quickly label the person as 'other', seeing their differing world view as a threat to our social identity. If they are right and their ideology wins, then they have essentially 'killed' me by 'killing' my ideology. If death is not on our minds, we are more likely to accept and co-habit. I like to think I'm pretty accepting of other races and religions and political views but I still feel threatened if I think of my country being taken over by the Russians and forcing us all to speak Russian. But really, what does it matter what language we speak or what religion we are? One is not better than the other, they are just different expressions of culture that have been successful in different areas of the world. Whose to say I wouldn't be happy speaking Chinese or Russian. Dos Vedanya English!

I worked on my audition today and re-read half the script. It is a pretty weird script. I would say it was highly imaginative but I'm not sure if it is particularly good. There is very little dialogue and some of the main characters don't speak. In fact most of them are made out of mud. I'm not sure who is going to see this movie, but in the end I can only focus on doing a good audition. The rest is up to the Gods - oh, and the large proportion of American movie goers in the mid-west.

I also had a cup of tea with a friend of mine Ben*. Ben is a very senior casting person at one of the major television networks and is one of my favorite people in LA. I hadn't seen him in a long time, mainly because he was feeling a little down and had holed himself up in his apartment for 5 weeks. I was glad he was finally out. We had a nice catch-up and talked about the TV shows that were getting picked up, auditions and our personal lives. Then we wondered the streets for far too long because I couldn't remember where I parked my car. Negative 25 points for not being a proper person.

I also had a cup of coffee with an actress who I did a movie with last year, Melina*. Melina and I met at Urth cafe in West Hollywood and began our catch up in the line. I sensed her great relief when she found out I had not booked an acting role recently. She was in the same boat. It's so weird how actors treat their friendships with other actors. I guess it goes back to the death documentary- that if someone is doing better than you it confronts you with your own mortality. Sensing our kindred connection, that can only be born out of two out of work actresses drinking soy cappuccinos, she opened up more than ever before and I really enjoyed our chat. She is incredible beautiful and talented so I guess it makes me feel relieved to know that even the good people aren't always getting jobs. She might come along to miracle class on Thursday. Are actors a cliche or what?

I then spoke to my friend Melinda*. (These actresses names are so similar that Langford was confused when I spoke of them.) Melinda lamented the quiet time we are all experiencing and was off to work at a private function as a waitress. I also mentioned the miracle class to her and she said she wanted to come too! So I may be showing up on Thursday with Melina and Melinda. Let's see how committed they are and whether they really come!

I finished up by cooking a delicious chicken curry with organic chicken. I think I ate too much. I feel very full. I think I'll give myself the 25 points back towards being a proper person because I made a home-cooked meal. I also cleaned the house today and re-arranged the flowers and lit candles. Pretty proper. Don't you agree? If you don't think that is good enough- well, you say Melina and I say Melinda! Let's agree to disagree.