It's a Mystery!

I just ate a lot of lollies. I feel a little guilty. I also haven't run for four days. I was eating so healthfully today! Why did I ruin it? For lunch I had roasted vegetables and then made another batch of my savory muffins. This time I was able to put bacon in them because I did not burn the bacon. This is a major accomplishment. Apart from having one too many jubes, I am feeling pretty peaceful today. My muffins turned out well and I just got a residual check from one of my movies in the mail which puts off getting a job at Starbucks for another two months. YAY! I also have been listening to classical music all day and I have to say it calms your mind and lifts your spirits immeasurably. This morning I went to miracle class but for whatever reason it was only me who showed up. Melina and Melinda couldn't make it. They both had auditions. As you can probably guess, most of the people at miracle class are actors. All actors are looking for a miracle. It always seems like lightning in a bottle when you get a job. It is so precious and strange and never seems to make any sense. I haven't heard back yet from my two auditions on Monday. They were both films though, so they usually take longer to get back to you. I had a nice chat with the healer, Jo* anyway. She is really my friend, so instead of doing miracles, we just had coffee and talked. It was really nice to spend time with Jo, as she is such a bright light and a pleasure to be around.

Yesterday I had a massage. My best friend in LA, Zara*, rang me in the afternoon to tell me she had a masseuse coming over to her house. I got in my car straight away. I desperately needed that massage. My neck was killing me. This was because I had spent an absurd amount of time in an awkward position. On the day of my two big auditions, I was shocked to realise that I only had old, clumpy mascara. In order to separate my gluey eyelashes, I employed a technique I had seen Julia Roberts use in the movie 'Charlie Wilson's War'. That's right, I used a pin to poke through my lashes. It is a very dangerous move and I do not recommend you try this at home. Luckily, I did NOT poke my eye out, I did however throw my neck out because I spent about twenty minutes standing with my head cocked back in order to get the appropriate view of my eyelashes. Isn't that ridiculous? What a waste of time! I find that I fall into some kind of trance when I do make-up. It is actually very therapeutic. Unless the make-up is not going on well. Then it is stressful! Anyway, the masseuse told me that Zara's body was stressed, her boyfriend's was relaxed and mine was the most stressed! I was very sad to hear this. He told me I needed a 2 hour massage! Obviously I was not going to fall for his money making gimmick! I did wonder if he might have a point- especially as he had not recommended that to either Zara or her boyfriend. Hmmm... I guess I have been stressed lately, what with the visa and the 'time- off' I'm having in between jobs. Anyone would think that not working would be relaxing, but that is only if you have worked, know you will be working again and are on vacation. I wish I could feel that certain about my future but it is hard when you can never work out the reason why you don't get an acting job and even more weirdly, you can never work out why you did get a job. It's a mystery!

I am now about to meet a friend for a drink. She is someone I met at a drama school in London when I was 16! That is 15 years ago! I had really liked her back in the day, and remember buying her a 7up to help cure her hangover, only to see her regurgitate it. Now, that's friendship! I had actually found it quite instructive at the time because she was 19 and I was 16 and not yet versed in the peaks and troughs of alcohol abuse. I soon became acutely aware of the peaks when I found that no-one checked ID in London. I also became aware of the troughs when I would wake up to a terrible headache and memories of singing in restaurants to bemused patrons. After the drama summer school, I had lost touch with her. Weirdly, we were re-united 12 years later when we were both working on a film in the US. She now works behind the camera. I shall not drink much tonight as I am on a mission to be a proper person. I think just one bottle of wine should suffice.